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FOR IMMEDIATE GLOBAL DISTRIBUTION
PRESS RELEASE № 2026/03/15
"ON DEPARTURES"
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Citizens of all zones, workers of all categories, entities of all classifications:
Spring arrives. The ice, which was never mandatory, begins its voluntary melting. The Committee observes with paternal satisfaction that history, too, has seasons.
Citizens are invited to celebrate this historic relaxation in whatever manner brings them authentic joy. Dance in the squares, or refuse to dance. Sing the revolutionary songs, or maintain revolutionary silence. The Committee watches with benevolent disinterest, recording everything, enforcing nothing.
Remember: You are free to remember, and free to forget.
Issued this spring day, when ice chooses to melt,
By the Committee that exists to make itself unnecessary,
In the year of voluntary compliance,
From the Bureau that was never here.
* This directive supersedes all previous directives while simultaneously being superseded by them.
* Citizens noticing logical inconsistencies are experiencing the intended effect.
* The Committee reminds all that spring is followed by summer, autumn, and inevitable winter.
* Your geographic response to this announcement has been noted with neither approval nor disapproval.
* The peasants, as always, are advised to ignore everything except the seasons.
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"Freedom is the recognition of necessity" - Engels
"Necessity is the recognition of freedom" - The Committee
"The turnips don't care either way" - Anonymous Peasant
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